How to rob a bank and get away

Bank Robber

You can rob a bank too!

Many people want to rob a bank.  However, they are scared of getting caught.  This article will teach you how to get away with all the money.

Step 1.  Comb your hair.

Step 2.  Walk towards the bank (do not use a getaway car!)

Step 3.  Walk into the bank.

Step 4.  Wait on line.  Be patient.  Cutting the line is rude!

Step 5.  Put you finger in your coat pocket and pretend like it’s a gun.

Step 6.  Politely announce to the teller: “this is a stick up!”

Step 7.  The teller will politely hand you over the money (with a dye pack) and press the silent alarm.

Step 8.  Leave the bank!

Step 9.  After leaving the bank, get down on your stomach.

step 10.  Take your hand out of your pocket and lay face down and wait for the police!

Step 11.  Accept the kicks and punches when the teller, guards and customers attack you.  The dye pack will probably explode during the tussle.

Step 12.  Don’t fight back and continue to wait for The Police (not the band….the actual cops)

step 13.  Get arrested!

Step 14.  While in the police car, congratulate yourself with getting away with bank robbery!

This 14 step program is GUARANTEED to work!

Some may ask, how is this getting away with bank robbery.  Let me explain.  When you leave the bank and before you lay down, that’s when you got away.

You didn’t get away for long.  I never said that you’d get away with it forever.  You got away with it for about 30 seconds.  However, just imagine how thrilling those 30 seconds will be.  You were a successful bank robber for 30 seconds.  Not many people can say that.  You did it!

For the next 23 years, you will be able to recollect how exciting those 30 seconds were.  You will be in jail for 23 years.  You will be able to impress other prisoners with your story.

You’ll be popular in prison and other inmates will respect you.

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